Saturday, April 22, 2017

Late Night Rambling

I don't even know what I'm going to end up writing.  I'm probably going to delete this later. 
It's 1 am.  I've finished an entire bottle of wine tonight,  so I'm kinda tipsy.  I've been watching 13 Reasons Why, and I'm all up in my feelings.  I just finished episode 11.  Clay's tape. I'm not sure if I can keep watching. 
I was so glad to be done with high school. i graduated in 2004. Almost thirteen years ago.  I had almost no friends in my classes. One of my best friends and I fell apart junior year,  and didn't become friends really again until I was 22. Another friend and I stopped talking,  over a stupid guy,  spring of senior year.  Most of my other friends were in all honors and AP classes, and I wasn't smart  enough  to  be with them.. Or they were younger than me,  so we didn't have classes together.  Or they were at other schools.  I was so lonely. But at the same time, I didn't  want  anybody to notice me. I would sit not in the front row, but not in the back either. I could go for days in my classes, without  saying anything. And nobody  noticed. I just felt invisible. 
I wasn't like Hannah. I wasn't suicidal.  But this show, is much harder for me than the book was. 

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